Dwayne's Ode To Matt Ryan


As you all know, I am a man of my word. And I always pay my debts. I'm like a Lannister (minus the lying, betrayal and incest but you know.) At the beginning of the football season Brandon and I made a bet. The bet was who would have a better fantasy season; Vincent Jackson or Demaryius Thomas. If Vincent Jackson would have had the better season, Brandon had to change his twitter avatar to this picture. And if Demaryius Thomas had the better season, I had to write an ode to Matt Ryan.

At the time I made this bet, I didn't realize Peyton Manning was about to turn in the greatest quarterback season in the history of the NFL. Needless to say, I lost. And to pay of my bet, below is the poem I have written for Matt Ryan. Have a Happy New Year Everyone! And screw you Vincent Jackson.

It was 2008,
In Atlanta, ga. 
The nfl draft was near.
And hope on the way. 

The falcons had endured 
A 4-12 season. 
We all understood. 
We well knew the reason. 

The team had just suffered. 
The downfall of Vick.
And for all of their suffering. 
They had the #3 pick. 

And there on the board,
Fulfilling a lack. 
Fresh from Boston College,
A franchise quarterback. 

Success came quick. 
For the young gun and his team. 
And fans of Atlanta. 
Could not help but dream. 

This was his time. 
And this was his year. 
When all of Atlanta,
Would stand up and cheer. 

But 2013
Brought on struggle and fail. 
And our new Falcon savior
Just could not prevail. 

But all is not lost,
A young core exists. 
And championship hopes. 
They live on and persist. 

So in 2014
Let struggle not hit twice. 
Here's to a better season
For our dear sweet Matty Ice. 

Yeah, They're Done

Tonight's Indianapolis vs San Diego will mark the end of week 6 in the 2013 NFL season. So it's time for every ones favorite game; let's make dangerously premature proclamations. Six weeks in and it's safe to assume alot about certain teams.  The Broncos are really good. The Jags are really bad. And there are alot of teams in between.

But there are certain teams pundits and fans alike thought would be much better than they are.  Could compete for a Super Bowl even. It's to the point where I'm ready to call the season for some of these teams. They're done. Not making the playoffs. Looking forward to next season. 

Obviously the moment I write this blog post and declare their season over, they will go on a win streak. Make the playoffs and make an improbable run to a championship. Just to prove me wrong. So to the 5 teams below, you're welcome. And remember who to thank when you are receiving that Lombardi Trophy:

1.  Pittsburgh Steelers (1-4) - I'm not entirely sure what is wrong with the Steelers. But they sure look broken. This week they beat a barely not terrible NY Jets and are already 3 games back of the division leading Cincinnati Bengals. 3 Games isn't insurmountable. But for this Steelers team, it is.

2. Houston Texans (2-4) - The Texans have snatched the title of resident dumpster fire from the Jaguars. The Jags are bad. But this Texans team is just a wreck.  They're starting QB is hurt and may miss time and that may be a good thing. And oh yeah his replacement is TJ Yates. Bad times in Houston. Side Note: With neither The Steelers or Texans going anywhere, why don't the Texans call up the Steelers and offer Matt Schuab and a 1st round pick for Ben Rothliesberger. Houston with a good QB can still compete. And Pittsburgh can get a head start on their inevitable rebuild. Win-win.

3. Atlanta Falcons (1-4) - 6 weeks in and the Falcons a 4 games behind the Saints. They've lost Julio jones for the season and there are rumblings already that they should trade Tony Gonzalez and just prepare for a high draft pick. Week 6 and already talking about the draft? Yeah, they're done. 

4. Washington Redskins (1-4) - On the 2 Guys NFL season preview I predicted that Either the Colts or Redskins were due to take a step back this season. Turns out I was correct. 

5. Green Bay Packers (3-2) - Of any team on this list, the Packers have the best chance to make me look stupid. They have a winning record and are only a game back on Chicago and Detroit for the NFC North lead. But the Packers have not looked good. And with Jacoby Jones hobbled and Randall Cobb out multiple weeks, I think it's too much to ask Aaron Rodgers to drag this team to the playoffs. Yeah, they're done.


The Panthers and I Need To Go on a Break


One thing you may not know about me is that I am a huge fan of the show Friends. Like huge to the point that at one point I could name episode numbers if you just described the plot of the episode to me.  I'm not that nerdy any more but I still have an almost encyclopedic knowledge of the show.

One of the most heart wrenching moments of the show is this scene where Ross and Rachel decide they need to take a break. It sucks because everyone know Ross and Rachel are perfect for each other. But neither can really figure out at that moment exactly why it's so hard for them to love each other. So they take a break to figure this out. Was it a terrible idea? Yes. 5 seasons, 2 marriages and a baby later they figure this out and get back together and all is right with the universe.  

I feel like this is where I am in my relationship with the Carolina Panthers.  I feel like we need to take a break.  Not because of anything they have done. But because of me. For the 6th straight season the Panthers have started the season 1-3 (except for the 2008 season where they started 0-4). I'm not sure how much more of this I can take.  Season after season, it's the same. They get my hopes up. Show lots of promise. Then underachieve until they are out of playoff contention. Finish the season strong and suck me back in again going into the next season.

You have to show me you are serious about changing the problems this team has. And I mean seriously change it. Not just put duct tape over the broken window. Fix the window. Get Cam some weapons. Bolster the O-Line. Get a decent secondary. And finally play with some fight and urgency. 

Who am I kidding? We all know how this plays out. You'll go 7-9.  Fire the coach. Piece together a team that gives me just enough hope to rope me back in for yet another mediocre season.  No! It stops here. No more Panthers! Unless you change, I can't continue this relationship.  


Settle Down Eagles Fans

Week 1 of the 2013 NFL season is in the books. And Week 2 starts tonight. There is alot that has yet to be determined after 1 week. Are the Steelers really as bad as they looked? Should the Ravens panic about not having a WR other than Torrey Smith? Is Colin Kaepernick the real deal? How long before my annual breakdown where I denounce my Carolina Panther Fandom (If they lose to the Bills, it will be this weekend.)

But one thing that isn't up for debate; The Philadelphia Eagles will be a hell of a lot of fun to watch this season.  Chip Kelly has set the city of Philadelphia on fire. I listened to sports radio all week and fans are beyond optimistic. Irrational even, and that is saying a lot for Philly Fans.

I understand that this Eagles offense looks dynamic. In Monday's game against the Washington Redskins the Eagles ran 53 plays.  It seemed that as soon as the ball got set after a play the Eagles were ready to run the next play. The Redskins were clearly thrown off by this. And the Eagles moved the ball with relative ease in the first half. 

Now, before Eagles fans start booking their tickets for the Super Bowl, note what happened in the second half. The Redskins started figuring them out a little. The Eagles might have gotten a little tired and that offense went from looking out of this world, to in the neighborhood of ordinary. 

The NFC East might be the tightest division in the league. All 4 teams have a shot to win it.  I picked the Eagles to win the division. And they still may. I just really want Eagles fans to take a breath and Settle down.   It's week one.  We're only 2 weeks away from the inevitable Michael Vick injury and him missing the next 6 weeks. I can't wait to hear the phone calls from fans after 6 weeks of Nick Foles.